Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…
This is a story of why a 60 year-old Monster needs a sled. This is going to be a little bit like National Shop for Travel Day, where we established there were at least two (and probably more) ways to shop for travel: there was shopping for travel, and then there was shopping for travel. Let’s call this “Son of National Shop for Travel Day”. Monster doesn’t need a sled for sledding, instead he needs a sled to use as a sled…
Confused?
For once Monster isn’t joining you, he knows what he wants and why he wants it, and there is no doubt in his mind he needs a sled. Monster needs a sled, not for sledding, but for being a sled. Make sense now? Maybe we just need to use some “monster logic” to figure out what the big guy means?
Monster Downhill Skis – Road to a Sled
I learned to ski when I was in 7th grade. Downhill ski that is. I took a lesson one year, and another lesson the next year, and that was that, I knew how to ski.
Except I didn’t really know how to ski, at least not well. There wasn’t a lot to be learned in a half hour group lesson anyway, but I was starting from nothing. I learned how to snowplow and that was about it, everything else was improvisation. I watched more accomplished skiers and tried to copy their technique.
Oh, I could go downhill on one of our midwestern ski slopes, and probably not run into other skiers, but it was never going to look good. Even with my skill set being so limited, I actually taught a couple of other teenagers to ski. Perhaps I should say “introduced them to skiing” rather than assuming that they learned anything under my tutelage, that might be a more accurate statement.
Monster Cross-Country Skis – Road to a Sled
When it comes to cross-country skiing, I am entirely self taught. Oh, I read a book or two on the topic, but I had absolutely no instruction, I just bought a pair of cross-country skis (and boots) and set out to learn on my own.
If you’ve never skied, then you may not know there is a significant difference between cross-country and downhill skis. Downhill ski boots are hard and do not flex, they attach at both the toe and heel, and the bottom of the skis are smooth to glide.
Cross country skis only attach at the toe so your heel can lift as you step and glide. Going downhill on cross-country skis is tough if you’ve been a downhill skier, your heel doesn’t lock into the cross-country skis like they do with downhill skiing, so it’s quite different. So is the bottom of the ski, where cross-country skis are designed to grip when moving forward.
I even managed to cross-country ski some when I lived at the Grand Canyon, not an activity many would associate with that area. However, skis were an excellent way to visit overlooks in the winter, a way to escape crowds and see the canyon without all the tourons1 in the way.
Monster Sleds the Grand Canyon – Road to a Sled
Not only did I cross-country when I lived at the Grand Canyon, I also went sledding numerous times. Like cross-country skiing, sledding is not an activity most people would associate with Arizona’s most popular National Park, but the sledding was great!
We’d slide out of the actual National Park into nearby Kaibab National Forest, the drive was perhaps a total of 5 miles from our dormitory rooms in the National Park. The hill was large, but I’ve been sledding in some pretty epic places. There were more obstacles than my experience anywhere else – big stately Ponderosa Pine trees – on the slope we were sledding.
We were using truck tire inner-tubes for sleds, and riding them down the hill in our own individual style, some sitting, some running and diving headfirst. We even took out shovels to create banked turns in the snow, piling and packing snow until we were satisfied with our sledding slalom course. What a great way to blow-off some steam after spending 8 or 10 hours in a kitchen at our jobs.
Monster Snowshoes – Road to a Sled
OK, we’ve established that Monster knows downhill skiing, Monster knows cross-country skiing, and Monster knows sledding. The one method of winter transportation I didn’t cover was snowshoeing, Monster does not know jack about snowshoes, has never been snowshoeing. So, of course last fall, while on a shopping spree, Monster purchased a pair of snowshoes from E-Bay.
Just what Monster needed, another piece of gear to store! And, he picked out gear that’s only used in a single season! At least he only has one pair of snowshoes. Well, for now…
Monster envisions himself snowshoeing in some pretty epic places. Right now that’s just a vision, but Monster honestly believes that if you can picture yourself doing something, then you can do it. He knows that better conditioning will be a key to accomplishing anything beyond scooting around his own yard. Isn’t that the case with everything Monster plans?
Monster even plans to hike across a glacier soon. Perhaps he will even need his own set of crampons soon! But, without a doubt Monster needs a sled.
Why? Why a sled? Just Why?
Obviously, you’ve been talking to my wife, aka girl. She asked all those questions too.
Let me just say this: Imagine yourself snowshoeing some 100 or so miles on a canal parkway. Snowshoeing is hard work, very hard work. Ventilation is important, you’ll be sweating (because snowshoeing is hard work) and you can’t afford to have wet clothes in the extreme cold. Wearing a pack is only going to make any ventilation problem you’ll have worse.
What’s the solution?
That sounds like a tough problem to solve. If you can’t carry all the assorted things a person needs for safe backcountry travel on your back, what are you going to do? Where will everything go? Will wearing clothing with lots of pockets help?
I’m not going to answer all the questions individually, instead I’ll say, “Just relax, I got this!”
I’m going to pile everything in a sled and pull it behind me. Well, unless I’m going down an incline, then the sled will likely precede me downhill – hopefully in a controlled fashion.
- Touron = Tourist x Moron ↩︎
