Why Snowplow Mailbox Hockey Day? Why? Just Why?
It’s pretty clear where I come from on the issue of Snowplow Mailbox Hockey Day from the subtitle; I think this is probably the most stupid thing I’ve seen on National Today.
I’m also of the opinion that National Today is encouraging people to commit crimes. It’s an illegal act, and I know folks who live in the country who have to replace their mailboxes with some regularity because of idiots out whacking mailboxes with aluminum baseball bats.
Stupid, Stupid, Stupid – Snowplow Mailbox Hockey Day
Snowplow Mailbox Hockey Day is celebrated annually on January 23 in the U.S. The day is celebrated as a token of appreciation by the local community towards the hardworking snow plowers who clear the streets, roads, and sidewalks every year in winter. So what happens on this day is that snow plowers are given a clear shot at taking down as many mailboxes as they can while snow plowing in the streets. The greater the number of mailboxes taken down, the more points they score. Five points are awarded for every mailbox, and an extra 20 are given if the mailbox is thrown across the street. The one with the maximum points wins and is given a reasonable reward.
A reasonable reward?
Jail time!
Yes, that’s my honest opinion. If a municipality, county, township, or other unit of local government is actually stupid enough to have such a day, they would also be liable for damages. I’d like to think that any city official involved in such activities be charge under RICO statutes.
What’s RICO you ask?
The Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act (RICO) is a federal law (codified at 18 U.S.C. §§ 1961-68) targeting organized criminal activity and racketeering. RICO enhances existing criminal punishments and creates new causes of action for acts done as a part of an organized criminal enterprise.
I’m actually quite serious, if someone conspires to knock down my mailbox, I want to invoke Federal law and put them and their plow in jail A government entity deciding to ignore your rights, that’s RICO if you ask me.1
Monster Sez
Do you know what monster says? Get out your post hole digger and portland cement, Monster has a solution…
Dig a nice deep hole for your mailbox post, and cement that fucker in good and solid. Now make sure the post for the box is as solid as you can get, I’d suggest getting inventive and using a car axle.
If somebody wants to whack your box with a ball bat or knock down your mailbox with an old beater, they will come across a rude surprise. Try running over it and you’ll total the car.
- I am not an attorney, and nothing I say should be considered legal advice for anyone – I’m a monster so my interpretation of the law should mean less than nothing to you, assuming you are human. If you are another Monster, you should run like you are Forrest Gump! ↩︎
